Be Wise How you Use Facebook

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine emailed me her resume to edit before she sent it to a prospective employer – I usually consult on that for free. I met her at the Java over coffee to discuss the resume and other job searching issues.

Now, over the years I have become brutally honest, I guess it comes with age. I no longer beat around the bush unless am dealing with a fragile person or issue. It is very liberating. So here’s how our conversation went:

Me: Your resume is impressive! The grammar is excellent and you articulate your core professional strengths very concisely. You just need to change your format to make it look more ‘serious’. However…I paused for emphasis…your chances of getting a job with an NGO are slim. Many HR managers will NOT hire you.

She was shocked.

My shocked friend: What? Why? You just said that my resume is impressive?

Me: Because of your facebook! Your profile pic is you in a party, scantily dressed, with a dude holding your hips. Your facebook statuses are usually about you having fun at this club or the other. How is an employer to take you seriously?

You are wondering what her facebook has got to do with anything. Guess what? HR managers and prospective employers nowadays look at your social networking sites. They ‘learn’ a lot about you from them. While most sites allow their users to control who sees the things they've posted, such limitations are often forgotten, can be difficult to control or don't work as well as advertised.

I am not implying that employers don’t want you to have fun (ok, some don’t), but they want to trust that you can also uphold the name of the company/organization.

While social networking sites like Facebook, twitter, MySpace etc. allow you to find and connect with just about anyone, one needs to be careful about their downside. I am not going to explore all of the disadvantages but here are two tips:

• Be careful what you post. It does show who you are and people are going to judge you on it. Don’t expose your folly. A single mistake such as a racy picture, an immature status or a poorly thought-out comment can cause irreparable harm to your reputation. Avoid airing your dirty linen in public. Look at this status:

 “Smh why do people have to talk about me behind my back SAY IT TO MY FACE.”

Rolling my eyes! Why do you need to post it all over Facebook? This is clearly directed at someone in particular. Talk to them. This is a waste of my news feed.

Or this one:

"My sweetheart, I miss you soooo much. I want to hold your hand and sleep in your arms. Come to me soon. @boyfriend"

Who cares? Just inbox her!

Or this one

 “Days like these make me so depressed”

You obviously want people to ask what’s going on. About 2% of your Facebook friends will die from curiosity and cave in to ask what’s up, but the other 98% of us know you’re being intentionally vague for attention. It’s annoying. Stop.

• Don’t compare or compete. People tend to portray (especially on Facebook and twitter) how well they are doing. They might seem to have more money, friends and fun than you and this may feed on your feelings of inadequacy. . A recent study proved that one in three people felt worse ("lonely, frustrated or angry") after spending time on Facebook, often due to perceived inadequacies when comparing themselves to friends. Remember people project the best of themselves so try not to get sucked into a spiral of envy looking at other people’s photos and posts.

I am usually very careful on what I post on social media. Before I write a status or post a comment, I think it through: does it expose my private life, is it mature, is it racial, tribal or chauvinistic. Will it be hurtful? Is it wise? Is it a show-off? If it is a joke, is it appropriate? 

I hope you will be wiser.