We Need You!

Dear friends,

As some of you may know, I started a charitable trust called The Molly Kiunga Foundation in June 2011. I want to invite you to be part of what we are doing in Kenya. We have two major projects:

·         The Scholarship Initiative: We give scholarship to children from poor families. We currently pay school fees for two high school kids.

·         The Youth Mentor-ship Project: We provide mentor-ship to children and youth on education choices, Christian living and sexuality. We also conduct training on STDs and HIV/AIDS, Drugs misuse and Abuse, Basic business skills and entrepreneurship and other Life Skills.

This coming month (8^th -10^th May), The Molly Kiunga Foundation in collaboration with http://kidscompcamp.com/, are providing 3 full days of free computer training for children of grades 6-8 at Kihuyo Primary School--one of the most under-resourced primary schools in the country. Most of these kids have never seen a computer.  Our role is to provide food to about 120 children and 25 trainers. That is why you need you!

Here are our needs: (Choose whichever you are able to)

To feed one child for 1 day (10 o’clock tea/snack, lunch, 4 o’clock tea): Ksh  200

·         To feed one child for  3 days: Ksh 600

·         To feed 10 children for 3 days: Ksh 6,000

·         To feed one trainer for 1 day (breakfast, tea/snack, lunch, tea): 250

·         To feed one trainer for 4 days (Trainers are coming a day earlier): Ksh 1000

·         To feed 20 trainers for 4 days: Ksh 20,000)

If you would like to support us in any of the above needs, send your donation with a follow up message on which need you want to meet to Winnie on Mpesa: 0705151115

      If you would like to sponsor a child for a term or a year, or to help with shopping, contact Winnie on the same no.

Our beneficiaries are:

1.       Gatheru Abigael Wamuyu: Turbo Girls High School: Form 2

2.       Nyakinyua Moses Ndirangu: Kaheti High School: Form 3

For more info visit us on: http://themollykiungafoundation.org/about-us/

Sincerely,

Winnie Kiunga

Executive Director

The Molly Kiunga Foundation

Sweets for Change? Standing up to TUSKYS

Yesterday was the day I finally stood up to TUSKYS. Yesterday was the day I got the courage to refuse their oppression. They forced me put my activism cap on outside of my regular environment. I pride myself at being an activist for the rights of women and children, refugees, the poor and I am very confident when am demanding for the rights of others. However, I usually shy away from standing up for myself, unless I am pushed to the limit.

Here is how it all went down. TUSKYS have the freshest bread in town so usually pop-in and pick the bread just as it is coming from the oven. I decided to also shop for some other items. If you have ever been to Tuskys at this time of the month you know that their tills are usually crowded with long queues of end-month shoppers. Surprisingly, that was not the case so I was served pretty fast.

My shopping was worth Ksh 2, 346. I gave the cashier Ksh 2500, so I expected Ksh 154 in change. He asked me if I had 6 shillings so that he could give me 160. I didn’t have the coins, so instead of 4 shillings, he gave me 3 tropical sweets.

Now this has happened before. TUSKYS always claim to have a shortage of coins. I am usually in a hurry so I never have time to complain about the sweets. I remember putting my frustration on Facebook. It only attracted other angry customers but it didn’t accomplish much. So yesterday I decided enough was enough.

Me: Why are you giving me sweets?” I didn’t buy any sweets.

Cashier: Madam, we don’t have any coins, so that’s your change.

Me: Is that so? How much are the sweets worth?

Cashier: 4 shillings.

Me: Kindly tell me when the Kenyan government, through the Central Bank of Kenya approved sweets as a medium of exchange. I think I missed the news that day.

Cashier: (getting infuriated) Madam! Chukua change uende zako. Kuna wengine  kwa line. Take your change and leave, others on the queue are waiting.

Me: (very calmly) Ok. Just one more thing: If I come to TUSKYS with sweets, will I be able to use them to pay for my shopping?

Cashier: (very frustrated) YES! Just go!

I calmly took my shopping. As I was leaving, I overheard the cashier on the next till say: Huyo anakuwanga customer mpoa sana kwetu ma cashiers, kwa nini haukumpea coins tu.  That customer is usually nice to cashiers, why didn’t you just give her coins?

Oh, so they actually had coins? An idea hatched in my head immediately. I took the shopping to the customer care desk and went back inside for more shopping. I bought bananas worth 48 shillings. I came back to the same till and queued. I had so much time on my hands!

When I got to the cashier, I gave him Ksh 40 and 6 sweets. He looked at me like I was crazy.

Me: What!? Why are you looking at me like am crazy? You gave me 3 sweets instead of 4 shillings. So I assume that if I give 6 sweets that will equal to 8 shillings (I had extra sweets from a previous exchange).

The other customers were cheering. One of the men in the next queue said out loud.

“Actually, I also have sweets from last week. I can use them to pay for my soda. What a brilliant idea! Thank you lady! If they expect us to take sweets as change, they should also expect to receive them as payment.

The cashier didn’t know what to do so they sent for the manager. He came and the customers explained their dissatisfaction with sweets as a medium of exchange.

The manager apologized and brought a bag of coins.

I was not done.

Me: So you have coins, but you want to make money out of us by forcing us to buy sweets? That is a shrewd plan. But it isn’t going to work on me. If I shop here, I expect coins for change not sweets. Where you get them is not our problem. We don’t give you excuses if we don’t have enough coins to buy whatever.

I left with my shopping, humming to myself the mapambano song. I may not have made a great difference by my defiance and TUSKYS may still give other uncomplaining customers sweets instead of coins for change, but I am pleased I stood up to them. I did not insult anybody, I was not rude, and I did not even raise my voice. I was calm, but I made my point. It is just a drop in the ocean, but I am proud of it.

Be Wise How you Use Facebook

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine emailed me her resume to edit before she sent it to a prospective employer – I usually consult on that for free. I met her at the Java over coffee to discuss the resume and other job searching issues.

Now, over the years I have become brutally honest, I guess it comes with age. I no longer beat around the bush unless am dealing with a fragile person or issue. It is very liberating. So here’s how our conversation went:

Me: Your resume is impressive! The grammar is excellent and you articulate your core professional strengths very concisely. You just need to change your format to make it look more ‘serious’. However…I paused for emphasis…your chances of getting a job with an NGO are slim. Many HR managers will NOT hire you.

She was shocked.

My shocked friend: What? Why? You just said that my resume is impressive?

Me: Because of your facebook! Your profile pic is you in a party, scantily dressed, with a dude holding your hips. Your facebook statuses are usually about you having fun at this club or the other. How is an employer to take you seriously?

You are wondering what her facebook has got to do with anything. Guess what? HR managers and prospective employers nowadays look at your social networking sites. They ‘learn’ a lot about you from them. While most sites allow their users to control who sees the things they've posted, such limitations are often forgotten, can be difficult to control or don't work as well as advertised.

I am not implying that employers don’t want you to have fun (ok, some don’t), but they want to trust that you can also uphold the name of the company/organization.

While social networking sites like Facebook, twitter, MySpace etc. allow you to find and connect with just about anyone, one needs to be careful about their downside. I am not going to explore all of the disadvantages but here are two tips:

• Be careful what you post. It does show who you are and people are going to judge you on it. Don’t expose your folly. A single mistake such as a racy picture, an immature status or a poorly thought-out comment can cause irreparable harm to your reputation. Avoid airing your dirty linen in public. Look at this status:

 “Smh why do people have to talk about me behind my back SAY IT TO MY FACE.”

Rolling my eyes! Why do you need to post it all over Facebook? This is clearly directed at someone in particular. Talk to them. This is a waste of my news feed.

Or this one:

"My sweetheart, I miss you soooo much. I want to hold your hand and sleep in your arms. Come to me soon. @boyfriend"

Who cares? Just inbox her!

Or this one

 “Days like these make me so depressed”

You obviously want people to ask what’s going on. About 2% of your Facebook friends will die from curiosity and cave in to ask what’s up, but the other 98% of us know you’re being intentionally vague for attention. It’s annoying. Stop.

• Don’t compare or compete. People tend to portray (especially on Facebook and twitter) how well they are doing. They might seem to have more money, friends and fun than you and this may feed on your feelings of inadequacy. . A recent study proved that one in three people felt worse ("lonely, frustrated or angry") after spending time on Facebook, often due to perceived inadequacies when comparing themselves to friends. Remember people project the best of themselves so try not to get sucked into a spiral of envy looking at other people’s photos and posts.

I am usually very careful on what I post on social media. Before I write a status or post a comment, I think it through: does it expose my private life, is it mature, is it racial, tribal or chauvinistic. Will it be hurtful? Is it wise? Is it a show-off? If it is a joke, is it appropriate? 

I hope you will be wiser. 

Diary of an African Woman in the US: Loneliness on the First Christmas

My first Christmas, the fifth month in the United States was the loneliest day of my life. I woke up around 8 and it was snowing heavily outside. Don’t get me wrong, I loved when it snowed and was already used to the cold. I guess it was because I was used to waking up to bright sunlight and family chatter on Christmas mornings. But this morning was deathly quiet and the snow was no longer beautiful but dreary and lonesome. I had come to visit my friends in Portland but they are not Christians and so there was no Christmas music or a Christmas tree or anything Christmassy. And I was ok with that, but I missed the Christmas hullabaloo that we always had back home. So I decided to cheer myself up by calling my mum in Kenya. Luckily, I had bought an international calling card the day before.

Krrrrrriiiiiiing!!!!

Krrrrriiiiiiiing!!!!

No one was picking! Did these people know that I was being charged whether they picked or not?

I tried again.

This time mum picked.

Mum: Herro! My heart jumped in excitement! My mummy! How I had longed to hear her shrub Herro!

Me: Hi mum! I was tempted to ask why she had taken FOREVER (a minute is usually forever when you are calling from the US) but I decided to let it pass so as to save myself more minutes for a meaningful conversation. How are you? How is everyone?

Mum: My dearest daughter! (My being two oceans away had suddenly elevated me to a higher level. I was now dearer than her other two daughters. :)  Please note that when I came back to Kenya my level went back to normal and we were all the same) Sorry I was busy with the cows! We are all very fine.

Me: Good to hear. Nooooo! All very fine? I wanted everybody to be miserable because I wasn’t there! I was the glue that held the Kiunga’s together! I could hear my sisters and brothers laughing in the background.

Mum: How are you?

Me: uhmmm…I am very fine. (Trying to sound cheerful)

Mum: Oiii mwana wakwa (O my child) Are you homesick? You miss home?

Now, I am usually not one to cry ovyo ovyo (just like that). But when your mother says oiii mwana wakwa, you cannot help it. I could barely talk for a big lump was in my throat. I nodded a yes and I guess my mum ‘saw’ it for she went on to console me by telling me that they missed me and it wasn’t going to be the same Christmas without me.

Mum: In fact,tutiui nu ukuruga shafashi (in fact we don’t know who will make Chapati for us).

This cracked me up. And my heart got lighter. However, as soon as I put the phone down, loneliness came back like a flood. When my hosts woke up, they invited me for early dinner in town, but I declined. I didn’t want to affect them with my negative vibes. It had stopped snowing so I took a walk around the block to clear my head. This was a good idea for I came back in higher spirits. For the rest of the day, I ate cheese and crackers, watched movies and read Khaled Hosseini’s “A Thousand Splendid Suns.

Later, I learnt that I wasn't alone. Most people in the diaspora struggle with being so far away from home. If you do, you dont have let loneliness get you down. . Here are a few tips to help you curb feelings of isolation.

• Keep yourself occupied

Read books, listen to music, watch movies. This really worked for me.

• Find others like yourself

Join diaspora clubs. If you are a student, look for other international students to hang around with. When I lived in the US, my best friends were from all over: Venezuela, Ukraine, Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Malawi, Uganda, Germany, France, Japan, Jamaica, Nepal etc. I enjoyed learning about new cultures, foods (especially). I also added value to the friendships by sharing my Kenyan-ness with others.

However, think it through before you join any groups or clubs. When you’re lonely the idea of belonging somewhere is more attractive. Cults and gangs often target lonely people, knowing they might be vulnerable.  You can also look for virtual ways to connect with other immigrants. But while online communities can be a great social outlet, don’t become over-reliant on them. It’s important to make sure you balance your social life and make the effort to talk to people in person. Also, people tend to portray (especially on Facebook and twitter) how well they are doing. They might seem to have more money, friends and fun than you and this may feed on your feelings of inadequacy. Remember people project the best of themselves so try not to get sucked into a spiral of envy looking at other people’s photos and posts.

• Boost your self-esteem

A lack of confidence can hold you back in social situations. Meeting new people can be stressful when you don’t feel good about yourself. That first Christmas when I had been terribly lonely, my new boyfriend had invited me to their home but I declined. I felt it was too soon to expose my foreign-ness to their white family. I had never had issues with self-confidence but for some reason I felt that I would be the only different person in that family and I wouldn’t fit in with the gift-giving, haiku-reciting and the brunch in PJs. Later, I was able to work on my foreign-ness issues and actually spent the rest of the Christmases with them. I realized that they enjoyed my stories about Kenya (embellished of course). So think of one thing about yourself that others appreciate, and build on that.

• Explore your interests

Anytime I was lonely, I wrote poetry or short stories. I realized that writing always lifted my spirits. Baking too—which is not so good for my weight.  But oh well, it makes me happy. So find a hobby, something you enjoy doing.

• Enjoy your own company

It might feel weird at first if you’re used to being surrounded by other people. But spending time alone can be really liberating. The freedom to be alone with your thoughts can be a great way of winding down.

• Try not to worry

Feelings of loneliness are usually temporary. Accept your feelings and remember you’ll probably feel better after a while. If you’re lonely because you’re homesick, think about the point in the future when you’ll be reunited with your friends and family Also try to enjoy whatever new experiences you’re having away from home.

Our Success Story

Last week, I received a text from one of our beneficiaries. His school, Kaheti Boys had just sent him his end year results. When I read the text, I shrieked in delight. My boy Moses had As in almost every subject! You see, when Moses started in Form 1 (grade 9), he wasn’t doing that well. Although I was paying his tuition and other fees, he was struggling to fit in at the high school. Most of the other boys come from affluent families.

When I talked to his teachers about his not-so-great performance, they said that Moses did not interact much with his peers. He kept to himself and always looked lonely and unhappy. I was so saddened by the report and promised to talk to him. That school holiday, I traveled to Nyeri and invited him over for lunch. It was obvious that Moses was worried about his single mother and the struggles she was going through and he carried this burden to school. I also learnt that other boys teased him due to his poor background.

Now, when I started the Molly Kiunga Foundation in 2011(a registered Trust in Kenya), I did not have much money (Not that I have much now )I was simply walking in faith. I just knew that I wanted to do something in my community. I wanted to mentor young people: To keep them away from the vicious cycle of alcoholism and drug abuse, poverty and hopelessness. I also wanted to support bright children from extremely poor backgrounds. That is why our organization is two-fold: The Youth Mentor ship Project and The scholarship initiative.

A few months ago, I rallied a group of friends to attend ‘family day’ at Kaheti high school. I especially wanted Moses to interact with some male figures: Peter Opiyo (works with Safaricom, Kenya) and Don Masinde (owns a fitness center in Kileleshwa). I also had some female friends and family (gender balance and all). So we all drove to the school (2 ½ hours from Nairobi).

It was a great day and Moses was super happy to have all these cool people around him. His mother was for the first time able to visit him and it was my first time to meet her. Don (the fitness guru) engaged all the students and their parents in some team building and fun activities. Peter in his calmness mentored the boys on peer pressure issues. We (the girls) also engaged them in meaningful discussions such as self-value.

Why I am telling all this? Because this visit changed Moses! We proved to him that the Molly Kiunga Foundation is not just interested in paying his tuition. We also care enough to visit him, spend time with him, buy him shopping, give him pocket money and just be there for him. His mother also assured him that she was strong enough to handle her own issues so he needn’t worry about her. After our visit, the teacher tells me that all the boys were like “Moses, you have the coolest family and friends!” And voila! His self-esteem shot up. And so did his grades. We plan to visit Abigail our other beneficiary next year and hopefully she will feel loved as well.

Next year, the Molly Kiunga Foundation plans to build a resource center at Kihuyo, Nyeri. This will house an after-school program for primary and high school students. We will also hold trainings on Reproductive Health including HIV/AIDS, Entrepreneurship and basic business skills, Drugs and alcohol abuse etc. We will also hold mentorship sessions in different schools. We have one on January 9^th, 2015 in partnership with Career Options Africa More info here: Mentorship and facilitation day. Finally, we want to build a library at Kihuyo Primary school.

Wont you be part of this amazing work! How you ask?

Sponsor a child: You can choose to pay tuition for a term or the whole year. You can also make monthly contributions.

Make in kind donations: Books, pens, crayons, mathematical sets, laptops and desktops, uniforms, school shoes

Be an ambassador/mentor: If you are not able to make a donation, be part of the team that will make school visitations. Also, spread the good word

Beach House Review: The Scherehezade

After a year of work and no play, I decided to take a vacation. I have visited Lamu and Mombasa but I have never taken time to enjoy Kilifi, another old and beautiful town on the Kenyan coast. A friend and I were looking for a beach house to stay in for a couple of days. We were referred to a place called Scherehezade and had such a great experience that I decided to write a review.

Named after a legendary Persian queen and the storyteller of One Thousand and One Nights, Scheherazade is a beautiful house situated 3km from the main road and 4km from Kilifi town. The outside architecture and interior décor’ is Arabic with wide and low windows allowing for circulation of fresh ocean breeze in all the rooms.

The house stands on a one acre piece of land with an assortment of vegetables and indigenous trees including palms. The East side of the property extends towards a steady rugged coral cliff overlooking the beautiful Indian Ocean. A round wooden table and three chairs have been placed near the cliff. This was my favorite spot! I would sit there in the evenings and enjoy the sunset, the breeze, and serenity of the sea. We discovered some man-made stairs leading to the sandy beach below. I have a phobia for heights so I didn’t climb down but my friend did. Guests are advised to only use the stairs during the low tide for during the high tide; the angry waves usually smash the cliff walls with a great force.

If you have a family, this is an ideal vacation choice. The house can comfortably accommodate 8 people. It has a sitting room, indoor and alfresco dining areas, a fully equipped kitchen, a food store, and a swimming pool. The main house has 2 bedrooms. The master bedroom is en suite, located upstairs with a capacious balcony overlooking the ocean. It has one king size bed with beautiful beddings and fluffy pillows. The downstairs bedroom is also en-suite and ideal

for children. It has 3 four-poster beds.

There is an option of eating out or preparing your own meals. If you are not too busy and love to cook, go ahead and do-it-yourself. But if you want to laze around (which is the whole point of a vacation) hire a local to make the meals. We chose the latter except for the last night. I loved that we could tailor-make the menu and the cook whose help we solicited was awesome! Our menu included such meals as coconut rice and prawns, salmon and roast potatoes for dinner, mahamri and mbaazi, for breakfast and other coast dishes.

Local Activities:

Due to the close proximity to Kilifi town, we were able to take walks around the nonchalant town and enjoy the Arabic architecture. The streets are not overcrowded and traffic is relaxed. We were able to shop for local garb and sandals for reasonable prices. We also visited the local beach and took long walks along the sea shore. On the last night, we had dinner at Mnarani Club (which is a walking distance from the beach house). 

Other activities for guests include:
Boating (at Mnarani creek), snorkeling and other water sports, dhow trips, bird watching, jogging and golf—the Vipingo golf course is only a 20 minute drive from Scheherezade.

Interracial Relationships: Tips for Kenyan Women

Most of my friends have been pushing me to write on interracial relationships. I have been quite hesitant to put my life out there for public scrutiny. Two reasons why I caved in: One, I have seen most Kenyan girls get it all wrong with their white boyfriends. Two, after reading Chimamanda’s  ‘Americana’, I realized that Ifem’s relationship with her white boyfriend mirrored my relationship with Mark* (not his real name). And maybe I can help someone.

But before I continue: some disclaimers:

• Mark and I are no longer in a relationship. Long distance challenges and all. That is a topic for another day.
• My tips are just tips. Feel free to disregard them.

Here they are:

1. Be yourself! I see Kenyan women who are dating white men trying desperately to look and sound American/British/Canadian/German. They put on those long weaves and try to speak in the guy’s accent. Some even bleach their skin. You are getting it all wrong. The man most likely fell in love with who you are. Your ethnic hair, your ebony skin and your Kenyan accent. When I first met Mark in Lewiston, Maine I had cute and neat corn rows. I was busy telling my American friends (with my Kenyan accent) a much embellished version of the baboon story below.http://thetrainblogger.blogspot.com/2011/01/baboon-story.html

Anyway, when I later asked Mark what attracted him, he said:

Everything about you was exotic. You were not trying to be American. I loved your hair, your accent, and your free spirit. You were different from all the Kenyans I had interacted with in college.

Awwww.  But a few months later, I was tired of maintaining my exotic look. I looked for a hair salon and retouched my hair. When I met Mark for dinner, my hair was long and sleek. I waited to hear these words: Honey you hair looks beautiful! Nah, his eyes were fixed on the menu. I decided to force the words out of him.

Me: I went to the hair salon.

He looked up and examined my hair with his lovely blue eyes for just a split second.

Mark: O yeah, it looks good.

Me: (Exasperated) Good? Just good? I spent 90 bucks (9 bags of cement) to have my hair done and all you say is good?

Mark: (Very calmly.) He was always calm! Ninety bucks huh? Sorry honey, your hair looks good and am ok with it, but I like your African hair better. I think it is fiery and sexy.

Me: But I can’t maintain that look here in the US. It is expensive. Plus I don’t have anyone to braid it. I would have to go all the way to Boston.

Mark:  Relax, I don’t mean that you should braid it all the time. I understand that once in a while you have to wear it sleek and shiny, but I just want you to know I love you. The African you.

So Kenyan women, stop trying too hard. Be you

      2. Tips on challenges

 Here are some of the challenges that people in interracial relationships encounter

•   Cultural differences:

A friend from Togo once told me: race is not the issue, cultural differences are: Different histories, philosophies, traditions, attitudes and world views. The greater the differences, the higher the chances for potential conflict. Shun comparisons that will leave one culture looking less important than the other. Appreciate your differences and be intentional about sharing the foods, music, holidays and traditions you’ve grown up with.

On our first date, Mark took me to the woods for bird watching. BIRD WATCHING! I was so tempted to tell him that it wasn’t on my to-do-on-a-date list. My Kenyan ex-dates had usually taken me to Westie for mutuura, or to nyama choma (barbecue) joints. Or to an expensive restaurant. And here I was, following ONE bird with a pair of binoculars. I was tempted to tell him that I grew up with birds around our homestead, that they woke me up with a thousand songs in the morning, and they were the last thing I heard when I closed my eyes at night. And that sometime it was annoying when I wanted to sleep in. But I decided to just let him be. Later, I grew to enjoy apple and strawberry picking, he even took me to a maple tree farm where they make sweets and cakes out of maple syrup. We also looked for things we both enjoyed such as visiting museums and historic places, trying out different foods etc.

I sometimes wish I could take my current boyfriend to watch birds. I miss it. But I am ok with tumbukiza joints and restaurants.

So be open-minded. Learning about another culture will help you see the world in new ways. Other challenges include:

• Rejection by the partner’s family. Although it didn’t happen to me, it is common in most interracial relationships.
• Being stared at, people shaking their heads as you walk by or enter a restaurant. Happened to me once. We were on our way to a cabin up North of Maine. There are no black faces up there so when we stopped to fuel the car, people kept staring. He noticed my discomfort and kissed me in defiance.
• Not being acknowledged at a party or a gathering. Fortunately for me, Mark’s friends and family always treated me like I was one of them. A friend of mine though was completely ignored once at a party where everybody was white. Only the boyfriend acknowledged her. They finally left even before the party was over. I don't have great advice on how to deal with challenges, but it is important to know them. 

3.       Meeting the parents/family

Just like in any other relationship, this can be an intimidating experience. Even when meeting the most accepting of families. I met Mark’s family on his birthday. While his father and brother were careful not to say anything awkward, his mother was shooting one question after another. After a few minutes I felt like it was an interrogation! Luckily, Mark rescued me and whisked me away. I was infuriated so much by the questions that I didn’t talk to Mark as he dropped me home that evening.

Mark: Honey, did my mother annoy you with many questions?

Me: (vehemently) She hates me!

Mark: I don’t think so. She is always like that…

Me: Then my goose is cooked.

Mark: (laughs) No. She really is a nice person. But I will talk to her. Will that make you happy? Puts his best smile:

Me: Ok.

Well, she turned out to be a nice person, with less awkward questions and I got to love her. So be strong and let the family see the awesome, funny, intelligent person that you are. Don’t kiss ass though, it will put them off.

4.       Dealing with skeptics

I see how people look at girls dating people of other races with skepticism: They will not last, he is going to dump her for a paler skinned woman, she is in it for money, she is too old for him, he is too old for her, he is too pale for her, they may get married but will be divorced in a year….

Yes, there are girls who just want to date a white dude for show or for his money, even if he is 70 something years old. But there are women and men out there in genuine, loving relationships. If you are one of them, dismiss the skeptics. Show them that there can be beautiful, healthy, thriving interracial relationships. Be happy no matter what people are saying. Maybe when see that you both are truly happy, they will warm to it.